The Psychology of Avoidance: Why Running From Problems Makes Them Grow Stronger
"What you resist, persists."
— Carl Jung
Why Avoidance Feels Safer (But Isn't)
When faced with discomfort, pain, or emotional conflict, it’s natural to want to retreat. Avoidance promises short-term relief, but it often comes at the cost of long-term peace. In 2025, mental health experts agree that avoidance isn’t weakness—it’s a survival response. But over time, it reinforces the very fears we try to escape.
Whether it’s procrastinating a tough conversation, dodging vulnerability, or numbing with screens or substances, avoidance silently shapes our lives—and not for the better.
This blog explores why we avoid, how it rewires the brain, and what science-backed strategies therapists recommend to move from fear to freedom.
What Is Avoidance Behavior?
What it is:
Avoidance is the habitual effort to escape unpleasant thoughts, feelings, or situations. It can be emotional (suppressing feelings), behavioral (not showing up), or cognitive (distracting with thoughts or media).
Common forms include:
- Procrastination
- Social withdrawal
- Overworking or perfectionism
- Addictive behaviors (scrolling, substances, shopping)
- Emotional suppression
How it works:
Avoidance activates the brain’s short-term reward system. When we dodge discomfort, we feel instant relief—which the brain records as success. But the original trigger remains, growing stronger over time.
Ask yourself: What discomfort am I trying to avoid—and is it really going away?
Tired of Avoiding the Life You Want?
Avoidance is a signal—not a sentence. At My LA Therapy, our clinicians help you transform fear into freedom using proven therapeutic tools.
The Neuroscience of Avoidance
Avoidance hijacks the amygdala, the brain’s threat-detection center, and reinforces the fear loop. The more we avoid a stressor, the more the brain interprets it as dangerous.
Over time, this:
- Lowers emotional tolerance
- Increases reactivity to minor stressors
- Shrinks the “window of tolerance” (your nervous system’s capacity for discomfort)
Research shows that avoidance is linked to heightened anxiety, reduced resilience, and lower emotional regulation.
Healing insight: Facing discomfort isn’t just brave—it’s how the brain learns safety.
6 Signs Avoidance Is Running Your Life
- You avoid situations or people that trigger anxiety or discomfort.
- You feel relief in the short term but guilt, shame, or regret later.
- You frequently distract yourself to avoid emotions.
- You put off hard conversations or decisions.
- You fear being overwhelmed by your own feelings.
- You’re stuck in patterns despite wanting change.
Avoidance isn’t laziness—it’s a learned coping mechanism rooted in fear. But healing starts with recognition.
Break the Cycle. Build Inner Safety.
You don’t have to face discomfort alone. Our trauma-informed therapists guide you with compassion as you reclaim your emotional resilience.
What Therapy Says About Facing What You Fear
Avoidance may be protective, but avoidance coping keeps us from emotional growth and relational intimacy. Therapists use exposure-based and emotion-focused strategies to help clients gradually face what feels unbearable.
Key strategies include:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps identify avoidance loops and build new thinking and behavioral patterns to create safety in discomfort.
2. Somatic Awareness Practices
Grounding, breathwork, and movement regulate the nervous system and expand your window of tolerance.
3. Parts Work or IFS (Internal Family Systems)
Helps connect with the part of you that is avoiding—and understand what it’s protecting. Healing happens through compassionate curiosity.
4. Emotional Exposure and Titration
Gradual, supported exposure to feared thoughts or feelings can help rewire your brain’s fear response.
Therapist note: You don’t have to “go big or go home.” Tiny, consistent steps create lasting change.
The Cost of Avoidance: What You Miss by Running
Avoidance may feel like a comfort blanket—but it comes at a cost:
- Missed opportunities and growth
- Emotional numbness or dissociation
- Shallow relationships
- Increased anxiety and self-doubt
- Erosion of self-trust
Healing insight: Every time you face discomfort with support, you teach your brain that you’re safe—and capable.
Stay curious, stay compassionate, and know that your journey is uniquely yours.
And in that uniqueness lies your power.
In the meantime, stay true, brave, and kind,
– Brooke
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Brooke Sprowl is an industry-leading expert and author in psychology, spirituality, and self-transformation. Her insights have featured in dozens of media outlets such as Huffington Post, Business Insider, Cosmopolitan Magazine, the Los Angeles Times, Spectrum One News, Mind Body Green, YourTango, and many more. As the founder and CEO of My LA Therapy, she leads a team of 15 dedicated therapists and wellness professionals. Brooke has been a featured speaker at prominent universities and venues such as UCLA School of Public Affairs, USC, Loyola Marymount University, the Mark Taper Auditorium, and Highways Performance Gallery, to name a few. With a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Welfare with a Mental Health Specialization from UCLA, a Bachelor’s degree in Neuroscience from USC, and certifications in peak performance and flow science from the Flow Research Collective, Brooke has helped hundreds of prominent leaders and CEO’s overcome anxiety, relationship difficulties, and trauma and reclaim a sense of purpose, vitality, and spiritual connection. With 15 years of experience in personal development and self-transformation as a therapist and coach, she has pioneered dozens of original concepts and frameworks to guide people in overcoming mental health challenges and awakening spiritually. Brooke is the host of the podcast, Waking Up with Brooke Sprowl. She is passionate about writing, neuroscience, philosophy, integrity, poetry, spirituality, creativity, effective altruism, personal and collective healing, and curating luxury, transformational retreat experiences for high-achievers seeking spiritual connection.
