“Intimacy is what we most long for and what we most fear.”
Couples therapy that changes the underlying patterns.
Our relationships are a mirror of the best and worst parts of ourselves, revealing elements of our unconscious we can't see alone. The process of doing deep inner work with a partner is often as much a reckoning as a revelation: equal parts painful and healing.
The same argument in different words.
If you’re both nodding — that’s exactly where we begin.
The Relational Anxiety Cycle
Most couples are not really fighting about the thing they seem to be fighting about. Underneath the argument, two nervous systems are reacting to each other in ways that activate deep fears and old trauma. When the same fight keeps coming back in different clothing, that is not just a communication problem. It's a cycle that runs on unconscious anxiety, defenses, and blind spots in both partners.
Nervous System-Based Couples Therapy.
Most couples therapy fails because it focuses on content, the surface issues you are arguing about, rather than process, the way you argue. The content changes from fight to fight. The process repeats. Nervous System-Based Couples Therapy interrupts the repeating cycles and unconscious defenses underneath, so the change carries into every argument you have not had yet.
Real-time Autonomic Tracking
Anxiety rises in both of you at once, and each partner’s nervous system reads the other’s as the threat. We track both systems in real-time and teach you to co-regulate and meet each other with love rather than fear.
Unconscious Defense Interruption
By bringing awareness to each person's blind spots and unconscious defenses, we map how they interact with one another to perpetuate the cycle. We interrupt this cycle in the moment, practicing tangible tools to forge new ways of relating.
Nervous System-Based Communication
Once you can both stay regulated, we teach you to say what you need and hear what your partner needs in a way that lands. The needs underneath the conflict get met, and the cycle resolves in repair instead of disconnection.
Couples therapy backed by clinical research.
Our couples therapists are trained in research-based relationship methods. Each approach below targets the patterns underneath the conflict, and your therapist draws on the ones that fit how you and your partner get stuck.
When unconscious defenses are running the show. Nervous System-Based Couples Therapy
Calm the fight-or-flight response that takes over mid-argument so you can stay emotionally regulated and connected.
A structured method with skills to practice between sessions. Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Nine research-backed pillars, from love maps to repairing trust, with concrete skills to practice between sessions.
When your partner keeps touching an old wound. Imago Couples Therapy
How early attachment shapes the way you show up in love. Learn a step-by-step communication technique so you can truly hear each other.
One person pursues, one withdraws, and both partners feel alone. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
Transform the deeper emotional patterns underneath the conflict, so pursuing and withdrawing give way to a secure bond.
Rewrite the outdated stories you tell yourself. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Couples (CBT)
Challenge distorted narratives to create a more realistic, positive, and empowering view of your partner.
Taking full ownership of your needs and feelings without making the other person wrong. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) for Couples
A systematic technique to express your needs and hear your partner without criticism or blame, even in the hardest conversations.
Not the next name
in a directory — the right therapist
chosen for you.
Every therapist on our roster is personally vetted and trained by our founder, Brooke Sprowl, LCSW, who brings 20 years of clinical practice to every hire. When you come to us as a couple, we get to know the two of you, your history, and your preferences, then hand-select a therapist who specializes in relationships.
“Intimacy is what we most long for and what we most fear.”
What couples therapy here actually sounds like.
A few minutes with our founder, Brooke Sprowl, LCSW — on the relationship patterns that keep couples stuck, and how we work with them.
The same argument in different words.
If you’re both nodding — that’s exactly where we begin.
Find my therapist →The Relational Anxiety Cycle
Most couples are not really fighting about the thing they seem to be fighting about. Underneath the argument, two nervous systems are reacting to each other in ways that activate deep fears and old trauma. When the same fight keeps coming back in different clothing, that is not just a communication problem. It's a cycle that runs on unconscious anxiety, defenses, and blind spots in both partners.
Couples therapy that gets to the underlying pattern.
Love can be one of the most powerful, beautiful experiences in life. But at times, love can also bring us more pain than joy.
Poor communication, unspoken conflict, or old pain can get in the way of feeling close to your partner. As those moments pile up over time, a relationship can start to feel like a war zone.
The foundation of trust weakens, and the bond that used to define the two of you starts to disappear. When that happens, it’s time to reach out to a couples therapist who can help you find your way back to each other.
At My LA Therapy, we hand-select your therapist from our small, boutique roster — someone who can guide you both back to clarity, respect, and intimacy.
Specialized couples therapy for every life stage and every kind of relationship.
Uncover the root of the problems you’re experiencing.
During couples therapy, you’ll learn how both you and your partner play a role in the problems within your relationship. With your therapist’s guidance, you’ll communicate openly in a safe space, uncover the root of what you’re experiencing, and learn how to change the dynamics.
- See how each of you plays a role in the problems
- Talk openly in a safe environment
- Identify the pain points in your relationship
- Learn how to change the dynamics together
- Explore how past experiences shape your expectations
- Notice the assumptions you each carry into the relationship
- Understand your different approaches to communication and conflict
- Create new expectations you both understand and support
- Take responsibility for your own behaviors
- Heal the trust within your relationship
- Feel free to express your love again
- Build a deeper, more satisfying relationship
Once each of you takes responsibility for your own part, trust begins to heal — and the intimacy and love you remember can return.
Not the next name in a directory — the right one, chosen for you.
Every therapist on our roster is personally vetted and trained by our founder, Brooke Sprowl, LCSW, who brings 20 years of clinical practice to every hire. When you come to us as a couple, we get to know the two of you, your history, and your preferences, then hand-select a therapist who specializes in relationships.
Research-based methods, chosen for the two of you.
Our couples therapists are trained in research-based relationship methods. Each approach below targets the patterns underneath the conflict, and your therapist draws on the ones that fit how you and your partner get stuck.
How we support couples in therapy.
Four research-based methods, personalized to your personalities, history, and goals.
Our founder Brooke Sprowl’s signature approach starts with what happens in each partner’s body during conflict. When the nervous system reads threat, you fight, flee, or shut down.
- ✓Notice when each of you shifts into fight, flight, or shutdown, and what your partner’s body is doing at the same moment
- ✓Slow the reactive cycle before the argument escalates
- ✓Co-regulate instead of escalate
- ✓Repair faster after a rupture
- ✓Build felt safety so hard conversations become possible
- ✓Stay connected to your partner under stress
Developed by Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman, a research-backed approach built on the core pillars of a healthy relationship, including:
- ✓Build detailed love maps of each other’s inner world, history, and current stresses
- ✓Sharing fondness and admiration
- ✓Turn toward each other’s bids for attention and connection instead of away, and share fondness and admiration daily
- ✓Manage conflict with soft start-ups, repair attempts, and accepting influence from your partner
- ✓Create shared meaning through rituals, roles, and goals that rebuild and deepen trust
- ✓Rebuilding and deepening trust
How your childhood experiences and early attachment patterns influence the way you show up in your adult relationships.
- ✓Explore how early caregivers shaped your beliefs about love, safety, and closeness
- ✓See how your partner may trigger old wounds — because your nervous system is trying to protect you
- ✓Learn structured dialogues to listen without defensiveness
- ✓Recognize the unmet childhood needs you bring into your partnership
- ✓Practice mirroring, validation, and empathy with each other
- ✓Turn conflict into an opportunity for growth and healing
Focuses on the emotional bonds that hold relationships together.
- ✓Identify the cycles you get stuck in — one partner pursues, the other shuts down
- ✓Recognize the attachment fears, needs, and longings driving those patterns underneath the surface argument
- ✓Express deeper emotions in ways that invite connection
- ✓Create new cycles of reaching and responding so each of you becomes a secure base for the other
- ✓Strengthen a secure emotional bond between you
- ✓Rebuild trust and closeness after hurt or disconnection
Nervous System-Based Couples Therapy.
The original framework our founder developed over twenty years in practice, and the backbone of how we work with couples: most fights are two nervous systems reading threat at once. We work with those alarms directly, not just the words exchanged in the argument.
Co-regulation in real time
Anxiety rises in both of you at once, and each partner’s nervous system reads the other’s as the threat. We track both systems as it happens in the room and teach you to settle each other before the cycle moves to its next phase.
Defense system mapping
Criticism, withdrawal, and defensiveness are protections that once kept each of you safe. We help you recognize them as they switch on and interrupt them at the point where activation would otherwise turn into escalation.
Repair and felt safety
Once you can both stay regulated, we teach you to say what you need and hear what your partner needs in a way that lands. The needs underneath the conflict get met, and the cycle resolves in repair instead of disconnection.
What couples therapy actually looks like.
Tell us what's going on.
Let's find you the right therapist. We'll hand-select your couples specialist from our small, boutique roster.
- Free 30-minute consult
- Matched to your relationship dynamic
- Love your therapist, or your money back
When the connection came back.
You did more in 45 minutes than my last therapist did in a year!
I am blown away! Brooke has the true gift of great insight and compassion while also getting straight to the heart of your blind spots in a way that has truly changed my life.
Thank you for yesterday’s learning opportunity about how I can communicate more effectively. You made me feel comfortable with the idea that expressing confusion or even doubt can serve as valuable conversation assets.
Brooke goes directly to the source of the issue while keeping a very gentle and kind energy. I felt very seen, understood, and supported.
There are people who are good at their work, and there are people like Brooke: who are born to do it. Brooke knew exactly what tools and questions would work for my particular psychology. No other therapist has been able to do that, or anything close.
Yesterday’s session with you, and a long, productive conversation with my wife last night, started to uncover a huge gap between perception and reality in my understanding of the status I held in our marriage.
Brooke is kind and warm, but not afraid to challenge you. Caring, authentic, and compassionate, as well as wickedly smart.
I have worked with many therapists in the past, but this is the first time I feel that I am making real changes. Brooke’s counseling has helped me become free, even from things I wasn’t aware were affecting me.
I’m so thankful for this journey we are taking together, with your help, towards deeper, more productive understanding.
Our therapists specialize in couples therapy.
Brooke Sprowl
Heather Totten
Myesha Reynolds
Sydney Shaevel
Tanya Mailander
Michelle Stroffolino
How couples work actually works.
Nervous System-Based Couples Therapy
- ✓Recognize when each of you shifts into fight, flight, or shutdown, & how your reactions feed one another
- ✓Identify early nervous system cues & “tells” the cycle is starting; regulate & interrupt it before it escalates
- ✓Understand & shift the underlying communication process that repeats across nearly all of your conflicts
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy
- ✓Build detailed love maps of one another’s inner world, history, & current stresses
- ✓Turn toward each other, rather than away; the habit research links most closely to lasting relationships
- ✓Share fondness & admiration daily, building shared meaning through goals & rituals
Imago Couples Therapy
- ✓Explore how early caregivers shaped your beliefs about love, safety, and closeness
- ✓See how your partner may trigger old wounds because your nervous system is trying to protect you
- ✓Practice the structured Imago Dialogue communication technique: mirroring, validation, & empathizing
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
- ✓Identify the cycle you get stuck in, where one partner pursues and the other shuts down
- ✓Recognize the attachment fears, needs, and longings driving those patterns underneath the surface
- ✓Create new cycles of reaching and responding so each of you becomes a secure base for the other
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
- ✓Express your feelings and needs without criticism, coercion, or power struggles
- ✓Make clear, specific, actionable requests using positive language
- ✓Listen for the feelings and needs behind your partner’s words and reflect them back before reacting
Start with a free call.
Our therapist matching specialist knows every therapist on our roster personally and can match the two of you with a couples specialist who fits your relationship, your history, and your preferences.
Specialized couples therapy for every life stage and every kind of relationship.
Endings, new beginnings, and a family finding its new shape. Divorce & Blended Families
Support through separation and divorce, co-parenting, and the work of helping a blended family find its new shape.
When you have lost yourself in the us. Codependency & Boundaries
Untangle people-pleasing, lost boundaries, and the habit of managing your partner’s feelings at the expense of your own.
Care that never asks you to explain or defend your relationship. BDSM & Kink Couples Therapy
Judgment-free, affirming care for kink, BDSM, and non-traditional relationships, with therapists who understand the dynamics.
Therapists who understand queer partnership from the inside. LGBTQIA+ Therapy
Affirming care for queer love, identity, and partnership, including the pressures that come from outside the relationship.
The thresholds where new patterns form. Premarital, New Parents, & Life Transitions
Before the wedding, with a new baby, or when the kids leave the nest, we help couples set the patterns before the patterns set themselves.
When trust has been broken and you are not sure it can be rebuilt. Infidelity & Betrayal Repair
Rebuild trust after an affair or a betrayal, with a clear path through the first hard months and honest work on what led there.
There’s a better way to find your couples therapist.
Our therapists specialize in couples therapy.
What you get choosing us.
The benefits of choosing us for LA couples therapy.
Eastside, Westside, and everywhere in between.
In-person couples therapy across Los Angeles.
Seven offices around the city, plus online sessions anywhere in California. Tap a neighborhood to place it on the map.
Our warm and experienced LA couples therapists offer in-person sessions at 7 office locations across the city, plus online therapy anywhere in California, or a mix of both.
*Available within a certain radius — get matched to find out more.
When the connection came back.
Brooke has the true gift of insight and compassion — getting straight to the heart of your blind spots in a way that's truly changed my life.
I felt very seen, understood, and supported — Brooke went right to the source of the issue while staying so gentle and kind.
I'd been in therapy on and off for 20 years. Brooke did more in one session than years of work with my previous therapist.
You already love each other. The rest is a language you can learn.
Our relationships are a mirror of the best and worst parts of ourselves, revealing elements of our unconscious we can't see alone. The process of doing deep inner work with a partner is often as much a reckoning as it is a revelation: equal parts painful and healing.
I am extremely passionate about working with couples because of how deep and dynamic the work is. I actively interrupt unhealthy patterns, redirect communication, and teach emotional regulation skills during the session.
It's deeply meaningful to witness couples shift from anxious, defensive, and looking away from each other to turning toward one another and recovering their tenderness, connection, and love in real-time.
As we help each partner understand their deeper needs and feelings and how to communicate them in ways the other person can hear, it opens up more empathy and grace.
You already love each other. The rest is a language you can learn.
Our relationships are a mirror of the best and worst parts of ourselves, revealing elements of our unconscious we can't see alone. The process of doing deep inner work with a partner is often as much a reckoning as it is a revelation: equal parts painful and healing.
I am extremely passionate about working with couples because of how deep and dynamic the work is. I actively interrupt unhealthy patterns, redirect communication, and teach emotional regulation skills during the session.
It's deeply meaningful to witness couples shift from anxious, defensive, and looking away from each other to turning toward one another and recovering their tenderness, connection, and love in real-time.
As we help each partner understand their deeper needs and feelings and how to communicate them in ways the other person can hear, it opens up more empathy and grace.
Learn to speak so your partner can hear you.
Learn the principles of Nonviolent Communication — how to express what you need without blame, and hear what your partner means underneath the words.
You’ve had the same fight for long enough. Let’s change the conversation.
Tell us what the two of you keep getting stuck on. Brooke will hand-select a couples therapist from our roster who has worked with that exact pattern, and you’ll start with a free 30-minute consult.
Find our couples therapist →You’ve been having the same fight for long enough. Let’s change the conversation.
One conversation is all it takes to know whether we're the right fit.
Find our couples therapist →Before you reach out.
Still deciding? The free 30-minute consult exists for exactly this — no charge, no commitment.