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7 Hidden Facades: Understanding Therapeutic Catfishing & When Clients Hide Their True Selves
"We wear masks to survive, but healing begins when we feel safe enough to take them off."
— Brooke Sprowl
Introduction: The Hidden Struggle in Therapy
Therapy is often described as a place of honesty, safety, and vulnerability. Yet, many clients—sometimes without even realizing it—hide behind carefully constructed facades. This phenomenon, sometimes referred to as therapeutic catfishing, involves presenting a false or partial version of oneself in therapy.
Unlike online catfishing, the intention here is rarely malicious. Instead, it’s often a survival strategy born from trauma, fear of judgment, or uncertainty about who one really is. Still, it can significantly limit growth, creating barriers to authentic connection and deep healing.
This article explores the psychology of chronic self-concealment, the seven most common facades clients bring into therapy, and—most importantly—how to move from protective false selves toward authentic self-expression and healing.
Why People Hide Their True Selves in Therapy
Many clients desperately want change, but also feel conflicted about what that means. Vulnerability is terrifying. For those who have learned that showing their true feelings leads to criticism, rejection, or abandonment, hiding can feel safer.
Common reasons clients “catfish” in therapy:
Fear of Judgment – Worry that their therapist won’t accept them.
Shame & Self-Blame – Believing their true feelings are “too much.”
Trauma History – Early survival mechanisms rooted in hiding or fawning.
People-Pleasing Tendencies – Trying to be the “good client.”
Lack of Awareness – Sometimes clients don’t realize they’re holding back.
Therapists often sense when something feels “off” or “incomplete.” What appears to be resistance may actually be a protective mechanism keeping the client safe from perceived harm.
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The 7 Hidden Facades in Therapy
Let’s explore the seven facades clients commonly present—and what lies beneath them.
1. The Perfect Client
This facade is about pleasing the therapist. Clients present as compliant, agreeable, and “doing the work” flawlessly. Inside, they may be hiding fear of criticism, perfectionism, or low self-worth.
2. The Detached Intellectual
Clients who rely on logic, analysis, or storytelling may appear insightful but remain disconnected from emotion. This facade often masks trauma, emotional numbness, or fear of vulnerability.
(Learn more about intellectualization in psychology).
3. The Overly Positive Persona
“Everything is fine.” This facade presents optimism, gratitude, or humor as armor, avoiding painful emotions underneath. Toxic positivity often hides grief, fear, or despair.
4. The Angry or Defiant Self
Pushing back against therapy rules, questioning the therapist’s competence, or resisting vulnerability—this mask protects deep-seated hurt and fear of abandonment.
5. The Caretaker
Some clients redirect sessions away from themselves, focusing on the therapist or others. This facade stems from childhood roles where care for others was prioritized over one’s own needs.
6. The Performer
Clients who entertain, charm, or dramatize their stories often use performance to distract from pain. The facade is not deceit—it’s protection against shame.
7. The Silent Mask
Sometimes clients avoid speaking at all. Silence isn’t emptiness; it often signals fear, confusion, or feeling unsafe. Silence itself can be a powerful form of communication.
The Cost of Therapeutic Catfishing
While protective, these facades come at a cost:
Stalled Progress – Healing requires authenticity.
Loneliness – Even in therapy, clients may feel unseen.
Emotional Fatigue – Maintaining masks drains energy.
Shame Reinforcement – Hiding perpetuates the belief that the “real self” is unworthy.
The therapeutic relationship thrives on trust, empathy, and openness. When false selves dominate, the deeper wounds remain untouched.
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How Therapists Can Respond
Therapists are trained to notice inconsistencies, subtle shifts in body language, and emotional incongruence. Yet, rather than calling out facades, effective therapists respond with curiosity, compassion, and patience.
Approaches include:
Gently Naming Patterns – Highlighting without shaming.
Building Safety – Prioritizing trust before pushing disclosure.
Exploring Origins – Asking where the mask was first learned.
Normalizing Protection – Affirming that defenses once served a purpose.
Encouraging Gradual Authenticity – Healing unfolds slowly.
Emotional Archeology: Unearthing the Real Self
Therapy is not about stripping away masks recklessly—it’s about understanding why they exist. These facades once kept clients safe, especially in childhood. By carefully unearthing these protective layers, clients can:
Recognize survival strategies.
Separate past wounds from present relationships.
Develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Reconnect with their authentic emotional core.
This is the heart of emotional archaeology—digging gently into the past to free the present self.
The Role of Countertransference
Therapists often feel facades in their own body—through frustration, confusion, or a sense of inauthenticity. This embodied countertransference can be a guide, pointing to unspoken truths.
When processed carefully, it helps the therapist understand what the client cannot yet say aloud.
Healing Beyond the Mask
Ultimately, therapeutic catfishing isn’t about deception—it’s about protection. Once clients feel safe enough, the masks begin to fall away.
Healing means:
Authenticity – Learning that being real doesn’t lead to rejection.
Integration – Bringing hidden parts of the self into awareness.
Self-Compassion – Accepting that masks were once necessary.
Empowered Vulnerability – Choosing openness instead of hiding.
(Read more on healing from trauma through therapy).
Conclusion: From Facade to Freedom
Therapeutic catfishing may look like avoidance, resistance, or even dishonesty—but in reality, it’s a testament to survival. Clients hide because they’ve learned that authenticity is dangerous.
Healing means realizing that therapy can be the place where masks can be safely set down. With trust, compassion, and patience, both therapist and client can move beyond the facade—toward connection, authenticity, and lasting growth.
Stay curious, stay compassionate, and know that your journey is uniquely yours.
And in that uniqueness lies your power.
In the meantime, stay true, brave, and kind,
– Brooke
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Brooke Sprowl is an industry-leading expert and author in psychology, spirituality, and self-transformation. Her insights have featured in dozens of media outlets such as Huffington Post, Business Insider, Cosmopolitan Magazine, the Los Angeles Times, Spectrum One News, Mind Body Green, YourTango, and many more. As the founder and CEO of My LA Therapy, she leads a team of 15 dedicated therapists and wellness professionals. Brooke has been a featured speaker at prominent universities and venues such as UCLA School of Public Affairs, USC, Loyola Marymount University, the Mark Taper Auditorium, and Highways Performance Gallery, to name a few. With a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Welfare with a Mental Health Specialization from UCLA, a Bachelor’s degree in Neuroscience from USC, and certifications in peak performance and flow science from the Flow Research Collective, Brooke has helped hundreds of prominent leaders and CEO’s overcome anxiety, relationship difficulties, and trauma and reclaim a sense of purpose, vitality, and spiritual connection. With 15 years of experience in personal development and self-transformation as a therapist and coach, she has pioneered dozens of original concepts and frameworks to guide people in overcoming mental health challenges and awakening spiritually. Brooke is the host of the podcast, Waking Up with Brooke Sprowl. She is passionate about writing, neuroscience, philosophy, integrity, poetry, spirituality, creativity, effective altruism, personal and collective healing, and curating luxury, transformational retreat experiences for high-achievers seeking spiritual connection.
