BDSM and Kink-Friendly Therapy

BDSM & Kink Friendly Therapy

BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline/Dominance and Sadism/Submission and Masochism (which is when you derive pleasure from inflicting or experiencing pain). “Kink” is a general term that refers to sexual desires that are considered by society to be outside the norm.

While these experiences may be considered taboo by some, that doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

In fact, people with fetishes, kink, and BDSM practices are far more common than you think.

Kink/BDSM is sometimes referred to as an “alternative” lifestyle and way of exploring sexuality.

BDSM and Kink: Deeper Questions

For those of us who live “alternative” lifestyles that do not conform to mainstream society, there are a lot of big picture questions that we grapple with on the daily.

Like, how much do we accommodate society by sacrificing our own desires and trying to “fit in?”

And how far do we push the limits on what society constitutes as a valid way to live our lives?

It’s a constant battle that we must face and reckon with, especially when our alternative choices are sexual in nature and therefore, so intimately tied to our relationships with others and the way we see ourselves.

 

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Destigmatizing BDSM & Kink with Therapy

Over the past several years, we have found ourselves working with an increasing number of people who are a part of the BDSM and lifestyle community.

Working with these clients, we have learned a great deal about the community, and about how BDSM desires can contribute to feelings of shame and anxiety.

We’ve come to understand that the key to freedom is accepting every part of ourselves, even the taboo parts that we often want to keep hidden from the outside world.

And although the BDSM lifestyle is gaining awareness in mainstream culture, most people in the world remain pretty uninformed.

But that’s why we are here: to teach and build acceptance around a community that is deserving of respect, attention, and understanding.

Discerning Kink/BDSM from Trauma & Abuse

One of the most common concerns we find when working with BDSM and kink issues is that people are uncertain how to discern a genuine desire from trauma or a consensual dom/sub relationship from an abusive relationship. 

Discerning between these things is rarely black and white. It requires a great deal of skill and understanding, and we pride ourselves on knowing how to help you discern these important questions. 

Often, the answers to these questions serve as the basis for greater clarity, healing, peace, and self-acceptance. 

BDSM and kink specialized therapists are uniquely equipped to help navigate these delicate conversations from a place of deep acceptance and understanding of BDSM and kink desires as completely valid and normal. 

Research-based, personalized therapy.

At My LA Therapy, our warm and experienced therapists specialize in anxiety, depression, trauma, & relationships.

Individual, Couples, & Relationship Therapy for BDSM & Kink

  • Individual Therapy for kink/BDSM/lifestyle issues
  • Couples Therapy for kink/BDSM/lifestyle issues 
  • Relationship Therapy for polyamorous and open relationships 

Reasons for Seeking Therapy for BDSM & Kink Issues

  • Coming out (to self, partner, or someone else)
  • To explore and overcome fear of others discovering BDSM identity or interests.
  • Compulsive issues around sexuality or BDSM.
  • Discomfort with your BDSM identity or wanting to extinguish your BDSM interests.
  • Fear of not being able to find partners with compatible BDSM desires/interests.
  • Identifying or recovering from an abusive dynamic in a BDSM relationship.
  • Guilt and shame about accidentally hurting a partner or crossing a partner’s sexual boundaries.
  • Gaining clarity around sexual interests or types of sensation or power dynamics that would be most satisfying.
  • Mismatches in sexual preferences within a relationship.
  • Difficulty sharing BDSM community space with a former partner after a breakup.
  • Finding a non-judgmental place where you can discuss your sexuality and other mental health issues without being stigmatized or having your kink pathologized.

Want to talk?

At My LA Therapy, our highly-vetted BDSM and Kink experts are selected not only for their clinical acumen but for who they are.

BDSM Interests Are Surprisingly Common

Fun fact: BDSM and predilections to kink are actually not as rare as you would think! Yep, you read that right. “47 percent of women and 60 percent of men have fantasized about dominating someone sexually,” according to a study in The Journal of Sex Research. BDSM is far from a new phenomenon. In fact, BDSM has been mentioned throughout history in Sanskrit Texts, ancient Greek and Roman art, and erotic French novels—all showing “pain being used as an erotic stimulus.” As with other types of lifestyles and sexual orientations, BDSM activities fall into a spectrum. This can range from light play to hardcore play. Light play looks something like this: blindfolding your partner, tickling them, and just enjoying an overall sense of playfulness without much pain or force. Hardcore BDSM on the other hand involves whipping, pouring hot wax, restraining each other, depriving each others’ senses, or binding your partner with ropes or chains. BDSM took a small step toward becoming destigmatized when the American Psychological Association publicly recognized it as a consensual practice between two partners, rather than a forced sexual activity without consent. Typically, people are drawn to BDSM because they are simply curious and want to explore new types of sexual experiences. Studies have found that couples who engaged in BDSM “were no more likely to have been coerced into sexual activity and were not significantly more likely to be unhappy or anxious,” which makes a strong case for BDSM being a healthy form of sexual expression. Although we as therapists think of BDSM as a normal part of the sexual spectrum, society’s limiting beliefs often cause people to struggle with guilt, shame, and other psychological issues. That’s why therapy is an important part of the path to self-acceptance for those in the BDSM community.

My LA Therapy: A Safe Place to Explore BDSM & Kink

Yes, there are stereotypes that exist within the culture at large, but our therapists recognize that they couldn’t be further from the truth.

At my LA Therapy, you will be treated as an individual, without being confined by any labels or preconceived notions.

Our experienced BDSM therapists are here to discuss all matters related to fetish, sexuality and dominant/submissive-issues within relationships—nothing is taboo here in our practice!

BDSM & Kink-Friendly Therapists

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