The Importance of Self-Love and Self-Acceptance

“Growth begins when we start accepting ourselves” -Jean Vanier

We usually set standards that are too high for ourselves because the society expects us to be perfect. We tend to forget that everyone has flaws including the people we perceive to be perfect.

Self-love and self-acceptance are critical aspects of health and happiness. These are the attributes that shape our physical, mental and emotional health in real and concrete ways. When we refuse to accept ourselves, we cut ourselves from the energy that sustains life. This process happens gradually we are disconnected from the life force. And this leads to serious health issues.

When we don’t accept ourselves the way we are, we are in essence, wearing ourselves internally. And when we fight against ourselves, guess who loses? It’s important to accept the fact that we all have flaws. Everyone makes mistakes. Making mistakes is not a bad thing that you should avoid completely. It’s one of the best ways to learn and grow.

Accepting our strengths and weaknesses and reconciling the conflicting parts in our inner world is critical to our health and happiness. Plus, you cannot achieve anything substantial in the outer world without fixing your inner world.

Symptoms of not loving yourself

Symptoms of not accepting yourself

Self-Love vs Self-Acceptance

Although these two concepts are related, they are not the same. While self-love refers to valuable or worthwhile you see yourself, self-acceptance is a global affirmation of self.

Self-acceptance is all about embracing our positive and negative facets. This means that self-acceptance is unconditional. Recognizing and accepting your limitations or weaknesses should not interfere with your ability to accept yourself fully.

To love yourself, you need to explore what parts of yourself that you are not willing to accept. Loving yourself is all about accepting yourself 100%. This is only possible when you stop judging yourself. Research shows that our self-esteem rises the moment we stop being so hard on ourselves.

Determinants of self-acceptance

Similar to self-love, as children, we can only accept ourselves to the degree that we feel accepted by the adults around us (especially parents). According to psychologists, children under the age of eight cannot formulate a separate sense of self, other than what has been transmitted by parents or guardians.

Therefore, if a parent could not communicate the message that you are acceptable he or she conditioned you to view yourself ambivalently. Positive messages that you received from your parents mainly depended on how you acted. Unfortunately, many of your behaviors weren’t acceptable or tolerated by them. In the end, you start seeing yourself as inadequate.

Also, parental judgment goes beyond disapproving a set of behaviors. For instance, parents may transmit to us a message that we are selfish, ugly, not attractive, nice and so on. As a result, you start focusing on your negative aspects. And this eventually leads to self-criticism.

It’s impossible not to parent ourselves the way we were parented. If our parents blamed, ignored or physically punished us, we’ll find ways to continue with this self-indignity.

According to Robert Holden, self-acceptance and happiness go hand in hand. Your level of self-acceptance will determine your level of self-love and happiness. The more you accept yourself, the happier you’ll become. You’ll only enjoy as much happiness as you think you’re worthy of.

Tips that will help you practice self-love and self-acceptance

Anytime you feel drained, tired or hating yourself, you are turning your thoughts and emotions against yourself. And this will not only make your life difficult but also that of your loved ones. Here are a few proven tips that will help you practice self-love and self-acceptance so that you can grow personally and professionally.


You are a special and unique person. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. By loving and accepting yourself 100%, nothing in the world will stop you from achieving your goals.


Guest Writer Bio


Tobias Foster is a professional journalist and editor at UK assignment help and Australian assignment help. With more than a 5 year work experience, he has amassed a wealth of knowledge in marketing, business, and philosophy. He truly is a master of his craft.


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