Happy Family Relationships: How to Stay Calm in Family Conflicts
While it’s not paid attention to, it’s widespread for people who have just come back from visiting their family to be depressed or frustrated. Families are a big part of one’s life, and it’s one of the most important things one should have. The importance of family cannot be overlooked in any way; family brings about love, fun, and special affection. As unique and extraordinary as a family is, it can become a burden, especially for those who have no idea how to handle family conflicts.
Family conflicts are expected of every home because there are several reasons families fight. Family conflicts come with a lot of profound messages that can hurt the soul and damage one’s feelings. It can spring out of a little discussion, and if care is not taken, it will become something very big, painful, and depressing.
A lot of people do not want affiliations with their family members, while some people have zero bonds with their family due to one reason or the other. It is essential to have a healthy relationship with your family because doing so helps you in therapeutic ways that lift your soul.
It’s very tough to put up with nosy uncles and aunties, overbearing parents, and annoying siblings. What’s worse is that during a family reunion or gathering, you’re expected to familiarize yourself with people you don’t have that special bond with. It can be very tiring for a lady who’s always questioned about when she’s getting married or the man who’s been pressured to find someone to marry. Questions about your grades in school, or the one time your aunt saw you in the hood can cause you to lose appetite over family dinner. There’s also the possibility of hostile in-laws when you follow your partner to their family.
The results of all of these can be overwhelming, overbearing, and difficult for you to handle.
Each time you go for that annual family gathering at Christmas or Thanksgiving, you have a conviction that it’s going to be different. You always convince yourself that you won’t allow anyone to mess with your head, but each time, you end up leaving angry, sad, and depressed. You’re not alone in this struggle, I assure you. Some people do not realize how devastating family conflicts can be until they start to breakdown and become agitated almost all the time.
Disagreeing with your mom, for example, puts you in a challenging position; there’s a limit to how far you can express yourself because you don’t want to hurt her feelings. You’ll bottle up a lot of emotions so you won’t look like the troublesome one in the family.
It is also important to note that parents suffer family conflicts as much as their children suffer from them — Dealing with troublesome kids can be emotionally tasking
Tips to Stay Strong in Family Conflict
To avoid being pushed to depression by family conflicts, you need to understand a lot of things, and here are some tips that would help you feel better and stronger in the face of any family conflict.
Control Your Anger Effectively
Anger remains the number one intensifier of family conflict. While it’s perfectly okay for you to get angry at things you don’t like, it’s more important that you know when and how to control that anger. When you’re confronted by that annoying uncle who loves to make you feel uncomfortable with his jokes, try to match his game. Hit him with one of his own jokes and make a good laugh out of it rather than getting angry. When your aunt questions you about marriage, laugh it off and cover it up with a good joke. At that moment, make her understand that you are more significant than her jibes.
Also, it’s very good to take a walk when you’re fuming. Try as much as possible not to blurt out words in retaliation, because it would only escalate what’s on the ground, and you’ll start feeling guilty for ruining the family dinner.
Be Confident in Yourself and Your Manner of Approach
Thinking less of yourself is one correct way of setting up yourself for manipulation. When you think of yourself as inadequate, you’re giving people the room to step on you. Be confident in the way you carry yourself and those around you. Do not let people’s opinions determine how you view yourself. When they try to talk down on you, give them hundreds of reasons why they look should look up to you instead, and learn from you. Your eloquence and aura should stand out while you address your family. Being confident means you are in charge of your life, and you’re not bound by what your family expects of you. Family expectations can massively weigh you down mentally and emotionally. It’s your responsibility to stand up for yourself and choose your personal life without recourse to anyone. This way, you’re happy with your life.
Listen and Negotiate for a Peaceful Resolution
You can’t always have it your way, and the earlier you realize that, the better. The best way to get out of an argument is to listen and make adjustments. When you’re at loggerheads with a family member, you can be the big person and calm the situation by listening first. Let the other person know that you are listening to make deductions and observations based on the issue at hand. Getting offensive to every opposing idea will hardly solve anything. Negotiating for a resolution makes things more comfortable because it means both parties are making conscious efforts to avoid conflict. The best way to stay calm is by putting emotions aside and dropping your personal bias. Avoid interrupting the speaking party, and try as much as possible to alienate other unrelated conflicts that might have happened in the past.
Work as a Team
This technique is one of the most effective methods for achieving calm and peace amidst family conflicts. Sometimes, the leading cause of the problem is the fact that there are too many bosses. Attempting the “each one to his own” makes things difficult because one person’s fault becomes easily highlighted and picked upon. For example, during a family dinner, it’s more beautiful when everyone is involved in the cooking and decorations. That way, ideas can be shared, and help can be quickly rendered for people who are not getting it right. In this kind of situation, whenever you’re angered, you can easily throw a joke over it or employ tactical empathy to ease the tension. Tactical empathy is when you abuse yourself in the manner in which other people might have insulted you. Doing this, you’ve taken the sting out of the abuse, forcing the other party to accept it as a joke.
Seek Professional Help
Some family conflicts have gone beyond quick redemption. In cases of divorce or death, it’s advisable to see therapists who can help outline some steps to be taken. Visiting a therapist means you want the best for your family and everyone around you. Good therapists would take their time to listen to you and examine your point of view in order to make necessary adjustments. You can get help from My LA Therapy, one of the best places to seek advice.
There are many reasons why you should be angry with your family, but there are also many reasons why you should learn to control that anger. Family conflicts are challenging, which is why you must always be prepared. The best way to enjoy a family is to be at peace with them. This is why you need to understand what to do when that inevitable family conflict pops up.
Guest Writer Bio
Cheryl Hearts is a passionate journalist from Boston, Massachusetts. She decided to dedicate her life to writing because she thinks this way she can be the most useful for the community. After obtaining a Master’s degree in Journalism, Cheryl started running her own blog CherylHearts.com where she’s covering topics of great interest to society.