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Communication is the backbone of human relationships—not only our relationships with one another—but even more crucially, our relationships with ourselves.
While communication skills are an important part of intimate relationships, strong communication can contribute to wellbeing, empowerment, and connection in every area of our lives.
When we’re able to communicate our basic needs and compassionately understand those of others, we can begin to create more meaningful connections, a more grounded sense of who we are as individuals, and a greater sense of mastery in our lives.
One benefit of effectively communicating our needs and feelings is that we can become more collaborative and less adversarial in the way we relate to others (and ourselves), decreasing power struggles, destructive conflicts, abuse, and violence.
Psychologist, Marshall Rosenberg developed his theory of Nonviolent Communication—or Compassionate Communication to address these issues and to reform communication as we know it.
He believed that all human beings are compassionate and empathetic at their core and that we only resort to harmful communication and behaviors when we feel threatened that we won’t get our own needs met and/or are unable to understand others’ needs clearly.
By being open about our individual needs and empathizing with others, destructive conflicts, or “violent communication,” can be avoided.
This can create a greater sense of emotional safety within relationships and can improve our ability to relate vulnerably and authentically.
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The four main components are observation, feelings, needs, and requests.
In order to implement NVC in our lives, we need to make changes on three key levels: within the self, between others, and within groups or societal structures.
How do we get started?
There are three distinct modes on how to apply Nonviolent Communication to your everyday life.
Implementing NVC into our everyday lives will take practice and time, just like any other skill.
NVC isn’t just used in personal relationships. In fact, it can be a powerful way to approach communication in business settings, mediation, parenting, legal matters, education, and healthcare, just to name a few.
Nonviolent Communication not only changes the words we use but it can shift our entire way of being, which is why it’s often considered a spiritual approach as well.
This is what founder Marshall Rosenberg had to say about the relationship between NVC and spirituality.
“[NVC] is really a spiritual practice that I am trying to show as a way of life… Even if they practice this as a mechanical technique, they start to experience things between themselves and other people they weren’t able to experience before… They begin to see that it’s more than a communication process.” -Marshall Rosenberg
Clinical Director, Founder, Therapist
I am blown away! I don’t write testimonials, unless I have been extremely moved by something. I was blessed to work with Brooke on a single session, and before this I was in therapy on and off with multiple therapists for the last 20 years of my life. Brooke was able to do more in one session than many years of work with my previous therapist. She has the true gift of great insight and compassion while also getting straight to the heart of your blind spots and unconscious issues in a way that has truly changed my life.
Skyler J.
There are people who are good at their work there are people like Brooke: who are born to do it. I cannot recommend Brooke more highly. I can only imagine where I would be today if I had started working with her years ago. From the beginning of our session, she knew exactly what tools and questions that would work for my particular psychology and my personal experience. No other therapist has been able to do that or anything close.
What I also really appreciate from our session is Brooke's ability to go directly to the source of the issue while also keeping a very gentle and kind energy with me. I felt very seen, understood, and supported. Everything and more that I could have ever asked for from a therapist. I have a severe trauma history and complex issues she was able to immediately identify and help. If she could help me, I know she can help you too.
Taylor E.
You did more in 45 minutes than my last therapist did in a year.
Jamie
With your help, I've finally started to understand that while my vivid imagination often wants to create terrifying monsters under the bed, in a lot of cases those monsters are nothing more than a heap of decidedly less-terrifying laundry I've avoided for too long that just needs to be aired out and put away. Which is definitely a lot easier than monster slaying. Thank you for shedding light in the dark places I was too afraid to face alone.
Morgan B.
I am extremely fortunate to work with Sydney, who is helping me create real internal change. The talent to listen well is Hall of Fame stuff, and she has that. She then follows with questions, strategies that are organic to the moment. I have come to believe that deep, radical, if occasionally deeply painful change ... and, then, healing can happen. I'm just at the lip of that last part - but would not have gotten there, AT ALL, without Sydney
Ric K.
The best therapist ever! Life-changing 🙂
Catherine H.
Right now, the work is changing my life, sometimes in inches, sometimes in miles.
Ric K.
