When You Look Inside, What Do You See?
"Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a part of oneself, but by integration."
— Carl Jung
When You Look Inside, What Do You See?
In so many ways, throughout years of personal discovery, I have reclaimed a greater sense of sovereignty, strength, and resilience.
But recently, I went through a series of traumatic events that shook me to my core and left me questioning everything I thought I knew about myself.
A Series of Life-Altering Events
Over the course of about a month:
My father had a massive stroke.
My beloved dog was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer.
I went through a very difficult breakup with my partner, whom I had been living with.
I found myself in an intense conflict with two of my closest friends.
After so much personal work on myself, how was this my life?
I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror and found myself questioning who I was. After all, I was the common denominator.
I felt paralyzed.
Had I been deluding myself all this time? Did all of these years of hard work amount to nothing?
I felt like an imposter.
A Dark Night of the Soul
It was a true dark night of the soul. And as is often the case with these death-and-rebirth cycles, it was hard to trust I would reach the other side or ever feel like myself again.
For the last decade, as a result of many years of self-inquiry, I found my life getting better every year—feeling more and more connected to myself, others, and my spirituality.
So having this series of blows delivered in such short succession shook me to my core.
It felt like a rapid and unexpected boomerang in the opposite direction from where I had been going—a shocking departure from my previous trajectory.
I began to wonder: Was everything I had worked for a lie?
Questioning My Purpose
In the darkest moments, it tested everything I thought I knew and stood for.
I started to question my career aspirations. What did I have to offer the world when my life felt like such a mess?
I tried to remind myself that pain and hardship are always doorways to transcendence, rebirth, and expansion, but it was hard to trust that in the midst of what felt like an endless series of blows.
While intellectually I knew there were important lessons surfacing from these struggles, emotionally, I felt crushed.
I had to put a complete pause on all of my projects as I tried to pick up the pieces, understand what had happened, and stitch myself back together.
The Reflection Principle: Our Greatest Teacher
It wasn’t easy to regain my footing amidst everything.
I had to dig deep within myself to remember what The Reflection Principle has taught me so many times before: pain and struggle are our greatest teachers.
As I remained painstakingly open to what life was trying to teach me, I began to see the cracks in my foundation that needed mortar.
I realized that while I had developed an arsenal of powerful modalities to cultivate resilience, peace, and vitality, in the midst of the crises, I had been neglecting the most foundational practice of them all: self-love.
The Difference Between Self-Care and Self-Love
This realization shocked me because I had been prioritizing self-care activities like yoga, music, and time with friends—things I assumed were an extension of self-love.
But then I saw the truth: I was going through the motions of self-care without actually treating myself with compassion, love, and kindness.
I was doing yoga without breathing.
It was almost like I was using self-care as a form of avoidance. I had learned to self-regulate my way out of my own vulnerability and had thus forgone the cultivation of true self-love.
I realized I was doing things to make myself feel better rather than tending to my pain.
With everything I was going through, I knew that anxiety, sadness, and pain were natural—but deep down, a part of me was angry at myself for feeling this way. I had expected that the personal work I had done would somehow inoculate me from struggle and difficulty.
The Power of Shifting Self-Talk
I blamed myself for my feelings, which only made things spiral downward even more.
But as I sifted through the rubble, a profound awareness came to light:
While I loved myself and accepted what I was going through in theory, I was not treating myself with love and kindness in practice.
I began to change my inner voice—to speak to myself the way I would speak to someone else I loved:
“I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. This is really hard. Of course, you’re in pain given everything you’re facing. This is not your fault. You know who you are, and you can trust yourself, even when others are being unkind.”
The moment I shifted my self-talk, relief washed over my body.
I could breathe again.
Research-based, personalized therapy.
At My LA Therapy, our warm and experienced therapists specialize in relationships, trauma, & codependency.
The Art of Transcendence
As I practiced self-love moment by moment, my entire perspective began to change, and the hidden lessons that once felt shrouded in darkness became clear.
I realized that no matter what happened in my life, my identity and worth did not have to be threatened.
Career-wise, I recognized that I had unconsciously believed that I needed to share my lessons from the mountaintop of being healed—instead of allowing my vulnerability to be part of the process of healing and transcendence.
Holding onto the idea that I had it all together had been central to my sense of self, but it was not an authentic or strong foundation for self-love.
This was transformative destruction at work—wrecking my ego-based conceptions of who I was and making way for deeper healing and strength as I continued navigating life’s complexities.
We find you the perfect therapist.
We deep dive into your unique needs to find you a therapist who matches your schedule, style, & budget.
The Collective Transformation
I see a similar process unfolding in the world around us.
As our society seems to be unraveling in so many ways, we also see a new paradigm emerging from the wreckage.
Individually and collectively, we must burn the old ways down so we can recover what is most precious within ourselves and rebirth a new culture.
Even though not all of my hardships have passed, I am finally learning to find solid ground within myself—amidst the groundlessness of life’s inevitable struggles.
And that is the art of transcendence.
Stay curious, stay compassionate, and know that your journey is uniquely yours.
And in that uniqueness lies your power.
In the meantime, stay true, brave, and kind,
– Brooke
Share this post
Brooke Sprowl is an industry-leading expert and author in psychology, spirituality, and self-transformation. Her insights have featured in dozens of media outlets such as Huffington Post, Business Insider, Cosmopolitan Magazine, the Los Angeles Times, Spectrum One News, Mind Body Green, YourTango, and many more. As the founder and CEO of My LA Therapy, she leads a team of 15 dedicated therapists and wellness professionals. Brooke has been a featured speaker at prominent universities and venues such as UCLA School of Public Affairs, USC, Loyola Marymount University, the Mark Taper Auditorium, and Highways Performance Gallery, to name a few. With a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Welfare with a Mental Health Specialization from UCLA, a Bachelor’s degree in Neuroscience from USC, and certifications in peak performance and flow science from the Flow Research Collective, Brooke has helped hundreds of prominent leaders and CEO’s overcome anxiety, relationship difficulties, and trauma and reclaim a sense of purpose, vitality, and spiritual connection. With 15 years of experience in personal development and self-transformation as a therapist and coach, she has pioneered dozens of original concepts and frameworks to guide people in overcoming mental health challenges and awakening spiritually. Brooke is the host of the podcast, Waking Up with Brooke Sprowl. She is passionate about writing, neuroscience, philosophy, integrity, poetry, spirituality, creativity, effective altruism, personal and collective healing, and curating luxury, transformational retreat experiences for high-achievers seeking spiritual connection.
