Why you should date emotionally



Use your "Unhealthy" relationships to transform your love life

Topics from the book:

Are you a Velcro Person or a Vanisher? How your attachment style can unwittingly run your relationships. 

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A little bit about the
author Brooke Sprowl

Working with people to help transform their lives is a deep source of fulfilment and joy. I feel extremely lucky to help people uncover the inner hope and strength they often don’t realize they possess.


Why You SHOULD Date
Emotionally Unavailable Men

  • Understand your attraction to emotionally unavailable men: Learn why you’re drawn to them and what to do about it.
  • Use the Reflection Principle: Understand how your relationship dynamics mirror the precise lessons you need to learn to transform yourself and your relationships. 
  • Identify Invisible Issues: Zero in on the blind spots that cause you to be stuck in your love life. 
  • Heal Broken Compass Syndrome: Learn how to restore your sense of self-trust and navigate relationships effectively.
  • Debunk damaging myths: Understand how our misguided cultural ideas about so-called “emotionally unavailable men,” “strong women,” and “the rules,” are sabotaging your ability to create the kind of lasting relationships you truly desire.

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Why You SHOULD Date Emotionally Unavailable Men

The “dump the jerk” mentality simply isn’t working. The current thinking about so-called emotionally unavailable men has left women confused, alone, and hungry for a new message. 

Why You SHOULD Date Emotionally Unavailable Men offers a radically countercultural perspective to the conventional “wisdom” women have been fed for years. 

It delivers an actionable, balanced, effective, and highly differentiated message that stands out amid the sea of clichéd ideas. 

The goal of this book is to change the cultural dialogue surrounding these issues to empower people to heal and transform the way they relate to others and themselves. 

Brooke Featured Film Expert Guest



Covered Topics

  • Reject False Goddess Complex: Get rid of the games our culture tells us to play and learn what true female strength is. 
  • Stop scapegoating: Learn to take responsibility for changing your role in relationships to get the kind of long-term, sustaining intimacy you want.
  • Break the Cycle of Whiplash Relationships: Identify the lessons you need to learn about yourself so you no longer repeat the same harmful patterns over and over in your love life.
  • Understand Co-creation Loops: Uncover the ways your behavior may inadvertently trigger the problems in your relationship and learn to see the whole picture so you can heal and grow together.   


When I was twenty-six, I couldn’t get a date. I’m now thirty-six, and I seem to get asked out almost every weekand by men I used to think were out of my league. 

When I was younger, I had all sorts of rationalizations for why I had issues with men. I told myself I wasn’t attractive enough, that men in Los Angeles were shallow, and that “all the good ones were taken.” 

At the time, I had no idea how I was playing into the problems I was having with menor how much power I had to change them.

I know the pain, self-doubt, and powerlessness that stem from believing the problem is “out there”blaming circumstances or men or the superficial qualities we lack for the difficulties we experience in relationships. 

But I’ve also experienced the transformation that comes with tearing down the walls we’ve unknowingly built and taking ownership for creating a new life, a new self, and a new way of being in relationships.  

That kind of transformation is available to you. 

That is, if you’re willing to reevaluate everything you think you know, take an honest look in the mirror, and lay everything that isn’t serving you at the altar. 

Yeah. Just that. 

So it really depends on you. How much do you want it?

Transformation is no small task. 

It can be brutal. 

But when you become a student of transformation, you begin to see that what is lost in the fire is always pitiful compared with what is gained. 

So, are you game? 

If so, romantic relationships are one of the best windows we have into seeing ourselves more clearly, because so much of what emerges in attraction between two people is the result of forces that are beyond our awareness. 

Relationships can reveal what is beyond our ordinary awareness, providing a portal into our unconscious: That is, they expose what we actually believe about ourselves, not what we think we believe about ourselves. 

That’s why it’s so important to change our narratives regarding our unhealthy relationships. Because relationships aren’t really the problem. But they often call attention to our underlying, invisible wounds that need attention.

Unhealthy relationships are symptoms that guide us to what needs to be healed within. 

If we mistake the symptom for the disease, we will look at our relationship problems without looking inward. 

Focusing on the symptoms, we miss the forest for the trees. This distracts us from doing the real work and saps the energy we need for actual healing.  

And if we keep doubling down on looking at our relationships as “the problem,” we’ll never heal the root cause of our difficulties and we’ll find ourselves stuck in the same endless holding patternsboth individually and relationally. 

When we heal our relationships, we heal ourselves, and when we heal ourselves, we heal our relationships. 

It’s a self-reinforcing feedback loop.

Put another way, our individual problems and our relational problems are one and the same because our relationships are simply an outward reflection of how we unconsciously relate to ourselves. 

Our inner and outer lives are mirrors of one another.

When we shift away from blaming others and assume responsibility for looking in the mirror, new perspectives and possibilities open up. 

It’s not easy work. 

In fact, it’s painstaking. 

But if you undertake it honestly and fully, it will not only transform your relationships, it will transform you at your core. 

That’s what this book is about: reclaiming our power to shape our lives and our relationships and becoming who we strive to be. 


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