Things to Know Before Coming Out to Your Family
Assuming one’s homosexuality is very difficult, after all, it is not something we learn at school or in books. When you’re heterosexual you don’t have to tell anyone. When you are gay you feel a moral obligation to tell, even to avoid a relationship based on lies, with people you love. Among the people you will want to tell are your best friends and, mainly, parents – in this case, the anxiety is even greater. To reduce the risk of both parties being hurt or to prepare a little more for this moment, this article gives you a few tips to help you through the process.
Are you sure you are a homosexual?
If you are still confused, if you have doubts as to whether you are a homosexual, it is better to take a break, because the confusion in your head can cause even greater confusion in the minds of other people, especially in your family. “Never assume your homosexuality as a form of aggression or revenge, or in a moment of anger. Such an important decision has to be well planned”, says Sandra A. Espinal, psychology writer at Essayroo and Oxessays.
Research the vast spectrum of various sexualities, like bisexual and pansexual, amongst others. For example, you may find that you are currently bicurious, or questioning. Taking some time to research and figure out exactly how to describe your sexual orientation will prevent the need to come out time and time again, and will help your family to fully understand how they can properly support you.
How to Come Out?
Make friends with people already assumed. Exchange ideas with others: find out how they are living, how they came out or whether they came out, and ask them what they think the advantages are of not being in the closet. You may find that you hardly needed to deliberate over planning to come out to relatives you are very close with – close relatives often turn out to have a sixth sense, and will admit that they already knew you were gay.
Frequent known nearby homosexual environments, to see which of the different models of gay living you identify with most. Try to make good new friends. Do not do anything that you will regret later. It is up to you whether to make your future as a homosexual a blessing or a nightmare.
If you already have a significant other or relationship partner, are you going to come out and introduce them to your family all at once, or complete the two on separate occasions? Your family could find it less overwhelming if you first come out to them, then introduce your partner, but you may also find that they immediately want to meet your significant other as soon as they hear about them.
If you wanted to come out to most of your family except your grandma, for example, this may take some planning. Even after telling other members of your family not to tell this person, who’s to say your grandma won’t suddenly become tech-savvy and want to become friends with you on Facebook? This is an unlikely scenario, but it’s something worth considering.
Do You Feel Satisfied with Your Homosexuality?
If you still have feelings of guilt, if you think you are wrong, that your way of loving is sin and if you have periods of depression, it is best to resolve these problems first. It is common to come out in other, more casual, safer and more friendly environments first before opening the game with the family. To face this bar, you need to be very confident and have a positive self-image of your own homosexuality. Self-esteem is indispensable to be happy.
Hopefully you have a close relationship with your family at this time,
Do You Have Someone’s Support?
It is essential that you have the understanding of a mutual relative or close friend of the family, who can calm your parents if their reaction is devastating. This person is also important to give you emotional support to face this new life situation. Discuss all the details, the predictable reactions of both parties, and if you think it prudent, be with this friendly person at the time of disclosure.
It is important that you come out in a environment in which it is safe to do so. If you suspect that your family will put you in any danger – however slight – after coming out, or if you are in a country or region that is in any way unaccepting of the LGBTQ+ community, please wait until you are in a place where you are completely safe to be open about your sexual orientation.
Do You Have Any Good Arguments About Homosexuality?
This is very important, as many people, including our relatives, are afraid or hate homosexuals (as well as having racial prejudice)” because they were never given adequate information about these issues. You must have the right answers to replace the ignorance of prejudice with the truth of the facts”, says Justin J. Brant, LGBT blogger at UKWritings and Eliteassignmenthelp.
The fact is that there’s a huge difference between the act of accepting your child as a homosexual and the act of welcoming them. Accepting is not everything. It’s just a first step. The question is, how long will so many parents hide the dust under the rug? “Be gay, we tolerate it, but know that we will never treat it naturally.” This is the speech that nobody says and that remains veiled in so many families. It is necessary to open this path, show your children that you are interested in their affective life as much as you would be interested in that of a straight child. A homosexual child needs support, acceptance, understanding and compassion, instead of the common attitudes of rejection and contempt. He needs to be relieved of his burden of guilt and inferiority that prevents him from forming relationships. It helps to inform them that they are not bad because of their deviated way of living sexuality, that they are not the only ones who have homosexual desires and that it is not impossible to be accepted and loved with this lifestyle
Guest Writer Bio
Beatrice Potter is a professional writer at Coursework Writing and State Of Writing, who has been involved in many projects throughout the country about supporting teenagers and young adults struggling with their identities. Beatrice is a tutor at BigAssignments. She has several degrees in psychology and has recently applied for her PhD.