7 Signs You’re In a Toxic Relationship
Nothing beats the sense of euphoria that comes with newfound love. The relationship starts with both partners acting all loved, with time and experiences making them grow closer together.
On the other hand, hardships may set in. A number of these couples may start to grow tired of the monotony, and if partners are not careful, the relationship may turn cold.
However, enduring a relationship that is “toxic” is even more dangerous. You can label just about any relationship toxic when it starts to put a dent in your self-esteem, your happiness, as well as your views of the world.
Many times, the toxicity is stimulated by one of the individuals who may, because of his/her past experiences, negatively impact the other.
Such people are known to leave a trail of broken hearts and homes, in the case of a marriage gone wrong. However, there are many other ways a relationship can become toxic, so you don’t necessarily have to blame one person.
While an individual may start toxicity, submissive behaviors brought on by sadness and low self-esteem foster it. This is why you must know the tell-tale signs of a toxic relationship as contained in this article.
You are in a toxic relationship when:
1. You avoid saying what you need because there’s just no point.
This is one of the signs that appear early. If left unattended, it will lead to immense toxicity that will damage your self-esteem as you start to see nearly no reason to speak up to defend yourself in cases of confrontations with your partners and perhaps others.
One of the main reasons that humans seek comfort in the form of relationships is companionship as well as essential needs like validation, a sense of belonging, sex, affection, and many others.
When your relationship doesn’t meet these needs and, instead, makes you suffer, it is toxic.
2. You always feel that your relationship has gone wrong.
Your relationship is toxic when you feel no joy thinking about it. It only makes you depressed and generally moody so that you feel choked up by it all.
When you hear of or look at people, who are happy and enjoying their love partners, you feel degraded and perhaps even blame yourself for not being competent enough to have the same.
This culminates in low self-esteem and, ultimately, an inferiority complex that may become very hard to ward off.
3. You make all the sacrifices, the commitment, do all the hard work, and express love.
Almost expectedly, a toxic relationship will make you feel like you are starved of love and attention. It starts with you bearing all the responsibilities that come with a relationship.
This is perhaps most obvious when the concerned parties are legally united. Happy marriages also suffer challenges; it is, however, the lovers’ combined efforts that help them survive!
When you start to feel that you are the only shouldering the financial or emotional responsibilities in a bid to “make things work,” you are in a toxic relationship.
4. You always brace yourself for disappointment.
This may not be obvious when toxicity first sets in. However, it would help if you kept a tab on the times when you mentally brace yourself for a “catch” to any of your partner’s actions, suggestions, or questions.
For example, you start to find that their questions are tricky and seem somewhat like traps they’ve set out for you. Most commonly, these questions increase when your partner starts envying you, gets jealous and thus, distrusts you.
At this point, you will find that finding your faults is almost an achievement for your partner as they continuously make a brouhaha out of demeaning issues.
If they especially never come around to apologize for their actions, scram! That relationship already spells out toxic!
5. Your partner starts to get aggressive.
This sets in quickly after your partner develops the need to control all your actions and thoughts and even faults you for nearly everything. In such cases, you can regard your partner as potentially dangerous because, in anger and frustration, verbal or physical abuse starts!
Such a partner kicks things off through manipulation – selfishly and subtly persuading you to heed all their demands. You may be aware that their actions and statements are meant to hurt or manipulate you. However, you never label it an important characteristic that should be controlled and unfortunately, give in.
Note that when it progresses to abuse, whether verbal or physical, it is just not worth it anymore…
6. The lies become too many and weighty
If you have noticed at least four out of the five signs listed above, there is no doubt that you will have observed this one too. This is because lies naturally accompany manipulation.
Whether you are a patient person or not, this will inevitably cause you to distrust your partner. You will agree that relationships can only stand the test of time when they are based on trust.
With your partner’s unrepentant dishonesty, you start to lose confidence in his/her love for you and vice versa. Without proper measures, such a relationship is doomed to fail!
7. When saying “no” becomes unacceptable!
Regardless of the strength of your relationship, you should never be refrained from saying NO when appropriate. When your partner displays selfishness by imposing his/her desires on you without seemingly no care for yours, the relationship is toxic.
Your inability to say no will gradually destroy your self-esteem and may even go on to do irreparable damage to your mental health. Scram!
On a final note, be aware that many things cause toxicity, but you should never blame yourself for it! You are not going through such because you are a soft person but more because your partner has become too controlling, manipulative, and selfish.
In such cases, it is best advised that you break the relationship because the longer you go on, the more damage you are left with afterwards. The only time you should work hard to fix such a relationship is when your partner is equally ready.
However, if he/she shows no such interest, then, yes, scram!
Guest Writer Bio
Nancy Patron is a passionate journalist who enjoys writing about psychology and human relationships. Over the course of her career, she was a regular contributor to major media publications, and currently, she serves as an editor for asianwomendating.org.