Why Holding a Grudge May Be Healthier Than You Think

When we hear the term “holding a grudge,” it often conjures up thoughts of negativity, resentment, and unhealthy emotional baggage. 

Popular psychology tends to label grudges as detrimental to our mental health, encouraging us to forgive and forget as quickly as possible. 

However, Brooke Sprowl, the founder and clinical director of My LA Therapy, challenges this conventional wisdom in her feature with Brit + Co. 

According to Sprowl, grudges, when approached with mindfulness, can be a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery.

Sprowl, whose work is dedicated to guiding individuals through trauma, anxiety, and relationship struggles, offers an alternative perspective on grudges that aligns with the values of her practice at My LA Therapy. 

Her approach reflects a deeper understanding of the complex emotions we navigate when boundaries are crossed or trust is broken. 

For many people seeking mental health support, learning how to manage emotions like resentment can be an essential step in the healing process.

In some cases, Sprowl suggests that holding a grudge temporarily can create the space needed for reflection and boundary setting. 

Rather than rushing to forgiveness or reconciliation, taking a step back and allowing yourself to process your feelings fully can help clarify your values and needs. 

This time of separation from the person you’re holding a grudge against may provide valuable insight into whether your relationship is worth repairing or if new boundaries are necessary to protect your emotional well-being.

Furthermore, grudges can act as an emotional checkpoint, providing you with the opportunity to reassess trust and communication within your relationships. 

If you’ve felt wronged or taken advantage of, a grudge can serve as a mechanism for self-protection until you feel ready to reestablish connection—if that’s even the right path. 

It’s about using this time to gain clarity on your needs and whether the relationship aligns with them moving forward.

Brooke’s insights also tie into a larger conversation about self-love and self-respect. Holding a grudge can sometimes be a way of standing up for yourself, especially when it leads to personal growth. 

Taking time apart from a toxic relationship, or even from a momentarily strained one, can reinforce your self-worth and help you communicate more effectively when you’re ready to reconnect.

Ultimately, Brooke Sprowl’s feature in Brit + Co sheds light on the nuanced ways we can navigate difficult emotions in a manner that fosters growth rather than perpetuates bitterness. 

If you’re finding it challenging to release grudges, therapy might offer you the supportive environment you need to explore and heal these complex feelings. 

It’s not about staying stuck in negativity, but rather using every emotional experience—yes, even grudges—as a pathway to greater understanding, personal development, and healthier relationships.

In the journey toward healing and emotional well-being, My LA Therapy provides the tools to help individuals thrive. 

So the next time someone tells you to “just let it go,” remember that sometimes, holding a grudge might be exactly what you need to reclaim your mental health and regain control of your life.